It really is no secret that 97% of divorces handled in the traditional adversarial system ultimately end up settling. For these people there is no “day in court,” no magic moment of validation or even vindication. If truth be told in today’s judicial court arena, the parties become battle-worn people who are just glad to see the door of the courthouse and the end of their ordeal. It is no exaggeration to report that many divorcing couples leave their litigation experience worn down and cleaned out. Yet it seems that when some couples begin their divorce process, they are convinced that they need to be represented by a “lean and mean” litigator (an aggressive advocate) who will show no mercy to the other side.
This typical mindset is founded on a mistaken belief that a successful divorce requires battle between the parties. Unfortunately, this thinking actually deprives these parties of the advantages that collaborative divorce offers:
- The opportunity to create solutions based on shared interests;
- The chance to avoid costly discovery of information;
- The benefit of multidisciplinary perspectives of skilled professionals; and
- The foundation for future positive post-divorce relationships.
In a nutshell, rather than using the divorce process to act as a force of “destruction” which is what happens when traditional litigation is used, Collaborative Divorce gives the parties the tools to create a force of “construction,” notwithstanding their failed marriage. I will say it again; Collaborative Divorce is an opportunity that should be embraced and a process that should be used as the preferred method for uncoupling.
While Collaborative Divorce is not right for everyone, I wish more couples would seriously consider it so they can move forward in their lives. My goal as a Divorce Sherpa is to educate and guide clients through the divorce process helping them find the right path for themselves.
If you would like to learn more, my office is available for “divorce process consultations.”